an outfit and some words.

I woke up yesterday and thought, hey why not tie a scarf over my head. seems legitimate right? now being a typical girl i had to ask peoples opinion. I snapchatted my best friend and boyfriend asking "is this too hipster to wear in public?" neither replied in time for me to head to work, so i took their silence as encouragement to just do it. I was glad i did, but i can't decide if i look more like a pirate or a gypsy in this outfit. whaddya think?

head scarf: street vendor in paris // shirt: gap (old) // necklace: charlotte ruse (?) // pants & shoes: f21

I've been reflecting on some things lately that have to do with beauty, so i suppose it feels appropriate to express them on a outfit post. I really enjoy fashion, I think hair and make up is also way fun to play around with. but i've come to the realization that i have put so much time and effort into trying to make myself seem more physically attractive. More than i care to admit. and for what? nothing of substance thats for sure.

Where I live is a bubble of super attractive overachievers and it's really hard to feel adequate sometimes. It seems that the average person here is miles above the average person anywhere else in the world i go. (does that make sense? sounds like rambling but it makes sense in my head). It's easy to feel inadequate--so so easy. And it's easy to think that the best solution is do everything in your power to make yourself much more physically attractive and fit in with all them super attractive overachievers, and to put the other things on the backburner for a while.

I think for a while, at least this past year i hid behind make-up to have confidence. I'm toning down the make-up, and being okay with the occasional "no-make-up" day. It was really hard, and its actually kinda embarrassing how hard it was at first, but i honestly am starting to feel prettier than i ever did with a ton of make-up. I mean when i get compliments it's about my actual face! not some pigments i painted on! so thats pretty neat. (also i sleep in more cause it takes 3 minutes to do my make-up now so thats a win in my book)

I'm being reminded of the non-physical attributes that make a human more attractive. Ones that make them more human, and more relatable. What people care about is authenticity. I think i do kind of a crappy job at showing people the genuine side of Emma. I could do a heck of a lot better job at being more compassionate and i could probably be a bit less sarcastic.

so isn't it ironic that i'm posting my qualms about trying to look better on an outfit post? probably. But i just want to remind all of you that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. yes you. you reading this post. you are wonderful. You are more than what you decide to show on the outside.

I want to be sure to mention that i still love fashion, and playing dress up, but there is a bigger picture. I would like to make a personal commitment that fashion will be more about discovering interesting aesthetics than a status symbol. I am committing to catch myself and slap myself the minute i start to feel better than someone based on a physical mask i may be wearing--such as clothing or make up. I'm committing myself to explore the non-physical qualities that will help me to be a better, more authentic person.

Thoughts?

Labels: fashion, rambling