photo taken by kassie, in august. (pretty sure with kodak portra)
If we're being honest, my life is once again most easily described by a taylor swift song. I suppose thats just a side affect of being human, amiright?? *thanks taylor swift for creating 1989, and also for writing the song Bad Blood*
It's been a rough semester for me, not even academically, schools been great actually. but in basically every other facet of my life. a bubbling mess of a laughable love life, betrayal and lost friendships. It's been one for the books, and I'm so very ready to put the book down, and start a better one. Honestly most the time I feel like I'm just going through the motions, being polite because I don't know how to be malicious, and hoping I'll be in a different country next semester. (side note, I just applied for an internship across the world. So.)
Thanksgiving came a just the right time, I needed this week to give me just enough strength to finish the semester. Last monday I called my mom in probably the lowest low I can remember being. I told her about how hard I had been struggling. I told how I was trying not to let anything beat me, and yet I was getting beat mercilessly. I told her how I was trying hard not to be mad at God, and how I had been giving Him the silent treatment. I expressed so many feels that I'm sure it overwhelmed her. She was so patient, so understanding and so not preachy. In the end, It came down to me feeling so completely and utterly alone. But she was there. She always is. And at the end of the conversation she said something that pierced my soul.
She simply said:
"Emma, We're going to love you through this."
That has carried me through the week, because I knew she meant it. I knew that no matter what, she really could love me through this. And I knew that I wanted to be the kind of person who can confidently say to someone "I will love you through this"
I meant to finish this post before midnight so my thanksgiving post would be more jovial and lighthearted, but I suppose this one will do. This one is real. On a day set apart for gratitude, I will gladly express to the world, that above everything else, I am thankful for my family. Because no matter what, I'm stuck with them and they are stuck with me. And most days that knowledge makes me pretty darn happy.