tools, torillas, and twapcorn?

i bet you wish you were as lucky as me. 

'cause i sleep with this little cross-eyed darling everynight.

cheers to having zero-drama, gorgeous roomates!

"whatever drops your bucket"

-allie

allie--"uhh where do pimps live?"

me--"...brothels?"

me-"was that a gun shot?" 

allie-"yes, in the brothel next door"

ty-"gross, it smells like someone farted in here"

allie-"oh, sorry---i mean..."

"you are not wooing me with your emot-icon!!"

-mel

allie-"are you being a cat"

sarah-"no your being a cat"

"do i have boogers up my nose? i mean I"LL see for myself"

-anonymoussssss