deedle dee doo

ever had a moment where you made yourself happy all by yourself?

like no body did it for you?

sometimes we need a push, a new outlook, or a heartbreak.
but if there is one thing i learned this year,
it's that i can make myself happy.

when i came back to BYU this year, i was fresh out of a relationship--the first one in 3 years.
my last night home we both cried.
the tears were a little pathetic honestly--but it was good to remember how to love someone else
and remember in turn--how to love myself.
after we broke up, it was hard.
buuuuuuuuuuut
it gave me this fabulous opportunity to grow up.
i learned how to become a better person
and i matured more than i ever have before.
I got so content with the person i am now,
(as opposed to the person i was when i left spokane)
that when i saw him again,
everything was okay, exactly how it is.
and i can't thank God enough for it.

it's like that song by Bright Eyes says, "When everything is lonely i can be my own best friend"

and you know what? i think it's great.
this morning i was beaming.
smiling big with my red lips and had ears for only brand new.
and today it rained. like real rain, washington-eque rain,
it smelled beautiful.

All i could think is--i'm at a really good place in my life right now.

come what may.

Labels: words