Hello friends. so if we're being honest, I'm scared of writing too much on this blog because i'm really not that great of a writer, but nevertheless there is more to me and this blog than pretty pictures. I have a had a rough couple weeks. I expected springtime to be a time where i could relax and breath but it's turned out i'm really barely holding on and breathing like a renaissance woman in a corset. 

I don't have a cute husband that I can brag about and tell you how he makes my day better or something, but I do have myself. I've found ways to make me happy the past few days. It's an interesting process to de-stress myself. I have to keep looking forward for the good days ahead. For instance, i leave for Europe two weeks from Sunday. I'm so excited for the surreal feeling I'll inevitably get as we wander around the city and look at famous pieces of art that I've only read about. Another part of my excitement for this trip is simply to take a break from provo. It means I'll be done with my job, and I won't have to stress about somebody elses weddings. It's really a once in a lifetime opportunity that I always thought about but only when my heads were in the clouds. 

Another way i've learned to de-stress is to acknowledge exactly whats making me uneasy. In the past couple years, I have found that sometimes , in the words of bright eyes, if you can't compose yourself it's best to compose a poem". I really think it's true, even if just gives me enough courage to stop thinking about things and go to bed. so i've been writing a tiny bit.

there are a few more small things that really seem to push my mood into a more optimistic direction. Like winning a giveaway from TheDailyDani meaning i get a FREE eShakti dress. I've been eyeing this one, but chances are I won't get to wear it til i get home.  guys, i never enter giveaways. this might be the second that i've ever entered... and i freaking won. i must have some super good mojo...remember that. Other than winning free stuff, with the help of my dear and wonderful parents, i'll finally have a car come august which I think is going to help me feel less like I live in a small bubble and give me some independence.

Today I sat on manti temple grounds waiting for bride and groom to finish their sealing and just sat in awe of the peace i felt. Really the most important and effective things for me has been to really just be willing to give the Lord all my trust, i'm learning more and more to make sure i include God in my future plans.

if you've stuck around to read this far, i'm impressed--but seriously. I'd like to know what any of you guys do to give yourself a break? It's interesting to me to know how others let themselves be happy.

you are wonderful. please don't forget that.