the ordinary pursuit: Late Night Ramblings and Musings

The past few weeks have been a bit of a growth for me. I've been going out on dates and stuff which has been swell-- it really has. but they've been a lot of first dates...I've been digging deeper into discovering what it really is that I want in relationships. I try to be rational, I aim to be realistic, I truly believe I'm both of those. It comes down to the realization that dating has become best friend shopping. I'm looking for someone to not bore me. See I have a list I've compiled over the last few months of fun date ideas. Sometimes they happen when I've stop on my way home entranced by the whiteness of snow, or when i see a picture, or there was that one time where I came up with a great one because i bought a new pair of sweats. The thing about most of these date ideas, is that they just gotta be with the right personality, and I have yet to find someone who is both interested in me and comes equipped with just the right amount of interesting/goofy/ambition and attractive-ness. They're the kind of things that only someone really close with me could enjoy as much as me. That might be the reason I haven't really shared too many of these little adventures with people, but hey I'm not worried about it. But alas, i digress. Basically I've realized that I have spent far too much times living in "what if's" and need to just sit back, relax and believe I really will have my time. That I will have that guy that just so happens to be the first person I call when things go right, or the person I need when I'm feeling inadequate. I want that enough that I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to find joy in the anticipation of something good. I'm want it enough I'm willing to be patient.

In the meantime I have PUH-LENTY to keep me occupied, like for instance the fact that i'm applying to the BFA in april. gaaahhhhhhhoohhmygoshsonervouslikewhoa The BFA for Graphic Design is hella difficult to get into and I'm constantly worrying i'm not growing fast enough as a designer to produce things i'm proud of. Which means weekends when I have more free time are accepted with welcome arms, which makes the single life feel more and more like a blessing every day.